w wiwiuai i miugmia 




mmm 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 



CNITED STATES OP AMERi / 



SADALPHA 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 



V 

J^"^RADFORD COX, M. D, 



SAN JOSE, CAL. 






\\cy 1879. 

MERCURY STEAM PRINT "-V ' <?r ..;. - . a 



en 




Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1879, by J. B. Cox, 
in the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 



PREFACE. 

— -<(((®)))>— - 

In presenting this little book for publication the 
author is aware of many of its deficiencies. But 
with a hope that it may be the means of exciting a 
desire for a more perfect life than many peojDle now 
live, and that it may afford pleasure during its 
perusal, indulgence is craved for its imperfections. 

A recent criticism on the " Poetry of the Familiar, " 
in a leading literary journal, seems to express the 
tendency of poetic taste at present in the following 
\vords: " In this art movement we see just what has 
been going on in poetry and fiction. Poets and ro- 
mancists began by believing that only romantic and 
picturesque scenes were worthy of their muse. They 
delighted in the supernatural; in the impossible, re- 
mote and extravagant; in the grand, heroic and ap- 
palling. But we all know how the romantic gradu- 
ally shifted into the merely i^icturesque, and then the 



4 PREFACE. 

picturesque into the familiar, until at last it has been 
discovered that even the most homely scenes and ob- 
jects often possess every attribute of poetry." 

This poem contains nothing supernatural, impossi- 
ble, remote or appalling; and if the scenes and in- 
cidents portrayed fall short of the beautiful, or fail 
to entertain, it is altogether the fault of an inexperi- 
enced pen. 

That there is much beauty in scenes of every day 
life is beyond doubt an established fact. And if we 
do not see and perceive it the fault lies in the instrufc- 
tion of our eyes and minds rather than in the scenes 
themselves. J. B. C. 

San Jose, Cal., Oct. 11th, 1871). 



'^' What though we may not turn again 
To shores of childhood that we leave — 

Are those old signs we followed vain ? 
Can guides so oft found true deceive t 

"Oh, sail we to the south or north, 
Oh, sail we to the east or west. 

The port from which we first put forth 
Is our heart's home— is our life's best," 



I DEDICATE THESE PAGES 

TO THE MEMORY CF ONE WHOSE MORAL EXCELLENCE 

LARGELY CONTRIBUTED TO THEIR PRODUCTION; WHOSE RELIGIOUS 

LIFE WAS ONE OF BEAUTY AND CONSISTENCY: AND WHO OFTEN EXPRESSED A DESIRE 

TO DO SOMETHING MORE TO BENEFII MANKIND. THIS BRIEF POEM 

IS OFFERED AS A PART OF THE FRUIT OF HER 

SHORT, THOUGH WELL SPENT LIFE. 



Part 1, 



INTRODUOTIOlSr, 

^AR out upon the western point of land, 
^1 Where calm Pacific throws her loving arms 
^iT About the neck of Mendocino's Cape, 
^ Whose rocky brow seems pleased for this embrace, 
I Stood youthful Angus with his flowing hair 
Kissed by the breeze, that played a hymn of praise 
Among the rolling billows, and the rocks 
Its constant harp. The soul-inspiring scene 
Now charms his inexperienced, tender mind, 
And transports thought beyond the narrow range 
Of childhood's home, or youthful fancy's dream. 



•lo SAD A LP HA; OR, 

He sees, as 'twere, immensity of space 
"Spread out before him in the rolling deep. 
And wonders what its depths may now contain. 
He little knows, so young — scarce nineteen years- 
The mysteries of its deep and hidden bed. 

Much less he knows 
How great the commerce of her mighty ships. 
And now he sees upon the vast expanse, 
Far out from laud as almost lost from view, 
In midst of boundless deep, a whitened sail. 
He wonders not of what its mission be : 
If trade vnih. foreign lands, he knows it not', 
If plunder, piracy perchance its aim, 
He thinks not of the dark and bloody deeds 
Its crew may oft have done. He sees alone 
The placid beauty of the tranquil scene. 
'Tis Nature's voice that now he hears and heeds^ 



A VOYAGE OE LIFE. 

She speaks in varied tone to his young heart. 
Beneath his feet the surging billows roar 
And beat against the everlasting hills 
And rocks, as they for cycles now have done; 
Thus making thorough bass for all the songs 
And melodies which Nature here can sing. 
'Tis deep and loud enough for many tunes 
That form a beauteous medley, speaking forth 
The voice of Nature since the morning stars 
Sang first their glorious hymn of love and praise. 
The song that now he hears, as pensively 
He sits him down 'mid ferns and waving grass, 
Is one whose melody the sea-birds make, 
Now high and shrill above the alto tones 
Of various tribes of anseres floating near; 
While from the many rocks not far away 
Comes forth the tenor and the second bass 



12 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

From out the throats of liundreds of the race 
Of lions, seals, as they come forth to warm 
Their shining backs beneath the noonday snn; 
While constantly deep organ tones, from rocks 
And rolling waves, fill up and bear on high 
The perfect harmony. 

He listens more attentively: 
The voices vary as he hears each tone 
Express a something more than mnsic sweet. 
A feeling, a desire, perchance a thought 
Leaps forth with each distinct and separate tone 
Of this grand chorus of the mighty deep. 
Loud and strong it now bursts forth 
In animated strains, that seem to say 
All Nature joins in one glad hymn of praise. 
And then a cadence seems to come, and short 
Staccato tones, with their untold surprise, 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 

Bleiid sweetly iuto other strains that move; 
Allegro maestoso, which now bring 
A striving for a great and noble end 
Within that breast which their grand import feels. 
And now a modulation seems to come 
Adagio, in a mournful minor key, 
And with it sad reflections o'er the past. 
He turns to view the land. 
Far to the east extends in Kainbow form 
A Kidge with green and smooth and grassy top; 
"With gently convex surface to the north; 
Its lower border fringed with canons deep, 
Made dark and wild by dense and sombre growth 
Of firs and pines, madronas and liveoaks; 
Amid whose cool inviting shades wild deer 
And grouse and CaUfornia lions find 
A safe retreat. Far in the distant east 



14 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Mount up great snow-capiDed peaks which seem to say, 

The farther w^ from earth we raise our heads 

The purer and more peaceful we become. 

The hoary-headed parents seem they now 

Of all their varied loving progeny — 

The smaller peaks uplifting verdant heads. 

What hundreds of these children have they borne 

And scattered here and there, until they seem 

A vast assembled throng of human heads. 

Perchance they now in awe and reverence stand. 

As youth before a hoary-headed sire, 

To hear what lessons come from \^'isdom's lips. 

Hark! hear a sage with whitened locks. 

In tones so deep that all the throng may hear, 

Speak forth and say, as father to a child, 

Once on a time, far down in early years. 

Before mankind was known ujjon the earth, 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 1$ 

When I was young and in my youthful prime, 
Then you had first your birth. Centuries j'our heads 
Scarce peeped above the briny, rolHng deep, 
Which dashed its surging breakers ceaselessly 
About my isolated form. 

Then life came forth 
And made abode upon my barren sides. 
Then, too, within the midst of impure deep 
Began to teem still other life, until 
When you emerged above the water's waste 
This life in all its forms seemed everywhere 
Itself to reproduce. 

By slow degrees, through cycles dim and long. 
By fires that burned within my throbbing breast,. 
I grew to manhood's prime. 
You, my first born, long I watched 
Amid the surging billows, which at times. 



1 6 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Would near submerge you from my anxious sight. 

How long, how long, I can not tell how long, 

Ere man came forth to dwell upon us here. 

To me the time since first he came to us 

Seems but a moment of my life. 

He comes and goes much like the tender grass 

That decks your verdant brows. 

Young Angus shuddered as he heard this voice 

Concerning that of which he formed a part. 

He wondered if indeed the sage be wise. 

He fain would know what else may be in man 

Besides the vital force that makes him grow 

In stature as the living grass or tree. 

He looks within his inmost soul and finds 

A thirst for wisdom, which is never quenched, 

Except he drink from out the purest fount. 

Oh, Wisdom, infinite, he cries aloud, 



A VO YA GE OF LIFE . \ 7 

tjrive me to drink that I may thirst no more! 
He turns to mingle with his fellow man, 
And ask of him, if this be all of life? 
He watches man from early dawn of love 
To-, its fruition, happiness and peace ; 
Till death comes on to claim its own 'mid tears, 
And weeping, bleeding hearts that know no rest. 
-And then he turns and asks the hoary sage. 
If life be ended when we cease to live? 






PEEPAEATTOK 

)|P^EHOLD two tender lovino- souls. 
^gM^^ 'Mid ioy aud mirth and glee, 
yt While showers of blessing love oonti'oh 
Sail forth on life's rough sea. 

Oh, what will be their doubtful fate? 

What storms — what calms be theirs? 
How reach their port? too soon? too late? 

In answer to what praj'ers? 

Shall joy attend them on their way? 

Shall grief be theirs? Who knows? 
Shall peace crown evening every day?. 

And sweet be their repose? 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 

O, hajipy trustiug pair, to be 
Thiis joiuecl in heart and band! 

How gladly friends give speed to tbee. 
Wbile watching from the strand! 

Their boat steers proudly for the main, 

And friends with voices clear 
Eepeat the joj'^ous, glad refrain. 
•' Long life to them — so dear." 

This sea of life they soon will prove, 

Not one which ever bears 
All placid scenes and ships that move 

As smoothly on as theirs! 

Each happy in the other's love, 
They feast, they drink deep bliss; 

They revel as blest souls above 
And all seems joy like this. 



20 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Oh, happy, joyous, loving pair! 

No stain of sin now mars 
Your highest ecstacy; for prayer 

Brought pardon from the stars. 

Each sought the Savior years agone. 
And pardoned through His blood. 

They strived to live as He alone 
Has ordered in His Word. 

How oft they failed He surely knew. 

For penitent each came 
At eventide, and meekly through 

The power, in Jesus' name. 

Begged mercy f(/V the sinning soul 
And wisdom from on high; 

And as the days and years might roll 
That He would be near by; 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 

That His own presence would be near 

In every act and word, 
And heart be kept as fountain clear 

That moves bnt is not heard. 

With hearts thus pure they first had met 

At feast of intellect, 
Where teachers Joint Convention set, 

To plan how best to act. 

To venture on some new laid plan 

Of how to train the mind; 
And thus by lifting youthful man 

To benefit mankind. 

To talk of methods and of rules. 

Of asi^irations bright, 
Of how to manage country schools 

And train the youth aright. 



SADALPHA; OR, 

They talked these matters o'er and o'er, 

And much that appertained 
To other things than those of lore 

And how the youth be trained. 

They talked of nature and of Howers, 

Surrounding lakes and trees, 
Of valleys fair, and leisure hours. 

Of life — its stormy seas. 

And when the sessions daily closed. 

And lunch and dinner o'er, 
A horseback lide was then proi)osed 

And taken as before: 

Through vales, o'er hills, 'mid pine woods sweet, 

By gushing springs so clear; 
Now maDzanita blossoms greet. 

Nor leaf is brown and sear. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 23 

Vor joyous Springtime with its tlowers, 

Bedecking bush and lawn. 
Invites to wild and perfumed bowers 

As evening shades come on. 

Thus pleasantly the time was passed: 

The three days' session done; 
A store of knowledge was amassed 

As how the school should run; 

•As liow this one and that had tried 

The boisterous to restrain; 
How indolence was rectified 

And duty made quite plain. 

Thus interchanging thoughts the while 

Of work and labor true. 
They learned to love; — the time beguile 

As youthful lovers do. 



24 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

They talked of Springtime, hopes and gains. 

Of usefulness and toil, 
When coming years should crown their pains 

With harvest ol the soil. 

They sowed good seed, then why not wait 

Till harvest time shonkl come, 
And gather sheaves both small and great, 

Eewards of work well done? 

The future seemed all bright and fair. 

Nor clouds athwart tlieii- sky; 
Buoyant of soul, a hopeful pair. 

No tear to dim the eye. 

For weeks — yea, months — this pleasure ran — 

Delightful stream of love; 
God's providence approved the plan 

And sanctioned from above. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 25 

Not spoken love — at first quite dim ; 

So timid, half afraid; 
Then " sister would she be to him," 

How sweet first promise made ! 

A " sister," hut "no more!" — Just here 

A "brother's love" was pledged: 
" I'll take you as my ' sister dear' 

Till fuller love be fledged." 

But sickness came, the manly form 

Was stricken near to death; 
For days and weeks contagion's storm 

Raged o'er him with its breath. 

A much loved letter sent away 

To her, from his sick room, 
In distant home drove friends astray 

For fear infection's doom. 



:26 SADALFHA; OR, 

She read it through, how anxiously 
None else but she could tell; 

A peaceful thought came hopefullj- 
That "brother" might get well. 

When convalescence scarce was o'er. 

Proud Science for his aim. 
He leaves the bright Pacific shore 

To seek and delve for fame. 

With fond farewells from all his friends. 

And "sisters" too, save one. 
He bids adieu to seek amends 

For ravages just done. 

-Goes anxiously, with sad regret. 

At leaving thus her face, 
Whose image hovered round him yet 

And lingered at the place 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 27 

"Where fevered fancy oft had gone, 
Through mountains green and fair, 

By many a gurgUng stream sat down, 
That face was ever there. 

And even when in death's embrace. 

So near that few came by, 
His deep delirium saw that face 

With pity in its eye. 

He called her oft in loving tone, 

He whispered that sweet name: 
Attendants heard him--heard him moan, 

And wondered if she came. 

She came in spirit, not in form; 

She came and soothed him so; 
She banished all the loathsome storm 

And cleansed him pure as snow. 



28 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

In fancy tlius he traversed o'er 
Bright scenes, where months ago, 

In respite from their work of lore 
They loved so oft to go. 

Bnt recollections such as these, 

From well or fevered brain, 
Proved recompense, to somewhat ease 

The parting and^its pain. 

To recollect these happier times. 

To travel once again 
By lake and stream, whose murmuring chimes 

Wrote music without pen; 

To walk again through pine woods sweet. 

To climb the mountain's brow, 
To wander where the waters meet, 

Seemed dear to him just now. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 29 

For in the busy city's strife, 

The Golden Gate so nigh, 
He walks alone, though surging life 

Is hurrying, rustling by. 

He visits places then of note, 

He sees and is not seen ; 
So small a thing, a useless mote, 

A something which has been. 

A person, living, thinking, loved, 

A consciousness, of what? 
Of having been, of having moved 

Around one little spot ! 

Of having loved one beauteous face, 

Distinct from all seen now. 
O, could it come from out its place, 

With pure and noble brow. 



SAD ALPHA; OR, 

And penetrate this jostling crowd. 
And turn its eyes toward me, 

How sweet 'twould be A\dth step so proud 
To walk and converse free ! 

O, coiild not this one boon be given, 

To see her ere he start? 
'T would be to him foretaste of Heaven 

To embrace before they part. 

But no ! to-morrow brings the day 

On which his vessel sails 
For Panama; and he must say 

His farewell through the mails. 

That night he wrote, ah, yes, how well 
None else but she could know! 

Emotions deep the bosom swell, 
A heaving to and fro 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 

Of love and hope, of doubt und fear, 

Uncertainty and grief. 
Oh, conld e'en present be made clear 

'Twoald bring the soul relief. 

' This life has much in store for me; 
Much more than I now see 
Can come through my scant lore to me, 
I'm now unworthy thee. 

•■' So when I've climbed the giddy hight. 
And wrought in science' dome, 
Will my dear sister to me write, 
And welcome letters home 

•' From her dear brother far away? 
If so my task will be 
Made light indeed, and on my way 
I'll write, oft Avrite to thee.'" 



Part 2 



O^ THE PACIFIC. 



,'^|S^^nt on the ocean wave sailing along; 
>V^kiipWhy should I not now change my song' 

Steady the billows roll, oh, so high! 
.^Steady the heart sends sigh after sigh. 
Chasing each other the waves come on; 
"Chasing each other the faces now gone 
Come in remembrance to sadden the scene; 
Thus to be leaving them; — Oh, how keen 



3-4 SADALPHA; OR] 

Breaks out the anguish from the depths of the soul! 
Break up the crested waves as inward they roll; 
Break up glad scenes of home — now they come near;. 
Break up old friendships so long held dear;. 
Breaks up the rocky beach? O! no, no! 
Firmly it withstands the tides high or low. 
Breaks up a "sister's love?" Oh! no, no! 
Breaks up a "brother's love?" No! surely no! 
Firmly they withshand the rolling of the tide, 
The busy throng that jostles round on every side.. 
Sailing on the ocean — the calm Pacific fair, 
Now away from breakers — scarce a breath of air. 
Rolling now the rollers. Oh, so slowly on! 
Coming not from stormy climes; coming, coming, gone!' 
Noiselessly they come and go, ever rolling high! 
Ship's machinery humming keeps time with hearts' 
lone sigh. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 35 

All quietness and grandeur! 

Save sailors here and there, 
Preparing for the voyage, 

Dead stillness fills the air. 

The breakers far behind us, 

The land grows di?u to view, 
Thus seeming to remind us 

Of friendships fond and true; 

Of faces in the distance 

That seem to say farewell; 
Of many scenes and incidents 

That now the heart do spell, 

And bind us to the fading shore 

That soon will disappear. 
The faces loved in days of j'^ore 

Seem now to be more dear. 



36 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

As memory turns to view again 

Loved places where we trod, 
And recollect on hill in glen 

Bright scenes spread out where God 

Would draw the soul toward Him again 

From whom it wanders oft — 
Yes, wanders into hell's dark den 

Until it may be lost. 

Bright recollections of the past 
Come now the heart to thrill. 

Sweet memories! yes, they come, how fast 
The soul the thoughts to fill! 

Some come with gentle tread, and steal 

So soft, so quietly. 
Upon our musings that we feel 

Their impress peacefully. 



A VO YA GE OF LII^E . 3 7 

Some come with longings to return 

And be again witli those 
Whose love now follows every turn 
Onr wandering feet may choose. 
Some bring a sigh for misspent time, 

But others bring rehef ; 
Some bring a joy, while others chime 

The deep-toned bells of grief. 
Oh! happy, peaceful, pensive hour, 

Thy moments come and go 
As sunshine bright or April shower, 
Summer's heat or Winter's snow! 
Some moments freeze the tender heart 

Toward all nlankind; so cold, 
So selfishly, each acts his part 
That many things untold 



38 SADALPHA; OR, 

Are treasured in the inmost soul, 
And there deep hidden lay; 

But now our memories o'er them roil 
And bring them bright as day 

To re-enact the scenes gone by 
With all their joy and pain, 

And vividly they come so nigh 
The f)resent we disdain. 

Thus musing till e'en past grew dim. 

His voyage just begun, 
A well-known voice now greeted him, 

A hand was grasf)ed by one 

In fonner days a better heart, 
Whose vain attempt at wealth. 

In mines as well as healing art, 
Had only brought poor health 



.^ VOYAGE OF LIFE. 39 

Through dissipation long indulged, 

And now he seeks relief 
Prom horrors — need thej\be divulged? 

Oh, demons sweet is grief 

Compared to teiTor and suspense, 

Of madness from the bowl! 
What pleasure that can recompense 

This torture of the soul? 

Oh! man, why desecrate the mind? 

Why wallow in the mire, 
And in damnation surely bind 

Thy roul to eternal tire? 

He sought a reformation when, 

Through changes of the trijD, 
"He should be made himself again 

By life on board the shi]^. 



40 SADALPHA; OR]- 

He has a t'ortnne in the East, 

Some land, a rich estate, 
Is left from father late deceased, 

Far in old Keystone State. 

' ' But what brings yoii, so yonng, ' ' he said, 
" To leave the Golden State, 
Where home and friends and mnch might aid' 
A promise to be great?" 

" Sir, this is why you see me go," 

The youth at once replied; 
" I've labored hard, as you may know,. 

The money to provide 

That I might fit myself to be 

Of use to fellow man, 
Far more than in the school I see,. 

Or working with the hand. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 4^- 

And so I've wrought most ardently 

These past three years or more, 
And all my wages carefully 

Laid by in future store. 

For this my trip to Bellvue Halls, 

"Where I in time shall be 
Prepared, like you, to attend the calls 
Of sick humanity." 

■ Ah! foolish youth!" the sage replied:: 
" How strange your choice to me! 
Far better for you had you died 
In early infancy, 

Than thus to wear your life away 

At call of come who will. 
And never know by night or day 

What hours repose shall till. 



^2 SADALPHA; 07^, 

Far better had yoa been content 

To teach a country school, 
"Where every moment is well spent 

And leisure comes by rule. 

But since you go and can't turn back. 

Perhaps 'tis vain for me 
To try dissuasion from the track 

Of pain and misery. 

But when you've followed many years 

Disease und death and woe, 
With all their ravages and tears. 

Perhaps you'll say 'tis so." 

But say when did you leave the once fair mountain 

town, 
AVith its adjacent hills and its valleys now brown? 
And saj', how are old friends and acquaintances there? 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 43 

And pray how j'our young " schoolma'am," so gay 
and so fair? 

And how was your preceptor, the good Doctor D , 

Whose only great fault was a jolly good spree? 
Thtls oft they conversed as now onward they sailed, 
When eating and sleeping and reading had failed; 
Now pacing the deck that the time might go by, 
Or watching alone for the wonders that lie 
Far down in the depths of the fathomless sea, 
So wonderful now for its transparency; 
Often looking for laud that was seldom now seen, 
Or viewing the star depths, so calm and serene; 
Now wondering how, from the expanse of Heaven, 
The Euler beholds our green earth as it's driven 
Around our own sun, which to us seems so bright, 
And yet from His Home is a mere speck of light. 
How small is the earth when compared to these suns, 



44 SADALPHA; OR, 

"Which soften the darkness as night o'er earth runs! 

Ah! vainly would we with our finite eyesight, 

Were we placed at the centre of infinite light, 

Endeavor to find such a planet as earth, 

"With it3 show and splendor, its seeming great worth. 

Yet Infinite "Wisdom views all He hath made. 

The suns and the planets and satellites staid 

Revolving so grandly, while each in its place 

Permits every other its journey to trace 

Without molestation, still influence is shed 

By each on its neighbor, while surely they're led 

In perfect accord with the Ruler's great plan. 

Thus pointing a moral to weak, sinful man. 

But onward for days, through the sunshine and rain, 

The ship plows along o'er the blue, rolling main; 

Now Lower California has come and has gone. 

With its bold Cape St. Lucas, so clear in the dawn. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 45 

Manzanillo, its tempting and tropical sight, 

Has left in the memory bright pictures of night. 

With its bald though green hills as so snuglj' they lay 

With light-house and canons around the smooth bay. 

But beautiful — aye, what a joy to behold it ! 

A sunset in Autumn with Him to unfold it, 

Who is beauty itself, and who jjaints, oh, so bright, 

That artists ne'er equal in visions of light! 

A sunset on ocean, with tropical air 

To bring forth each outline and make it more fair. 

A scene to enjoy which the heart we must raise 

To the source of all beauty and tune to His praise. 

Such a scene was presented ere Panama gained. 

The day had been showery; so oft had it rained 

That sailors work scrubbing the deck was not needed, 

Nor furling the sails, for this had preceded 

Api^roach of the evening, which now coming on 



46 SADALPHA; OR, 

Seemed hallowed, for Sabbath day now nearly gone 
Brings its eve on so gently to mind ere it sleep, 
Favoring silence and reverie and memories deep 
Of childhood, of Springtime, of friends that are gone, 
Of other scenes far away — how they come on! 
Now flooding the soul as if dreamland were here 
To ^ arry us back over many a glad year. 



..>^-44.— 



EEFLEOTIOFS., 



. Jb'^ii^^AINS quickly vanishing, 
^^,jil^^ Joys e'er replenishing, 

T; Ever sur%dving the brightest and best 
°gp For man's true happiness, 
( Pleasure and blessedness, 

Resting in wisdom — how sweet is that rest! 

Past scenes come jjeacefuUy, 

Come they so qr.ietly, 
Thus are they filling the heart full of love. 

Coming now joyfully, 

Coming then tearfully ,^ 
Coming from whence are they? Ah! from above! 



48 SADALPHA; OR, 

They from the soul seem welling — 
Seem to the heart now telling 
'■Sweetly and calmly of past times so dear. 
Oh! how they thrill the heart! 
May they not soon depart. 
Stay, pleasant memories, ever stay near. 

Stay to enrich the soul. 

While round us billows roll — 
IBillows of turmoil from great human strifa. 

Hallowed thy influence be 

O'er all life's stormy sea, 
lyfever forsaking me through endless life. 



A STT.-NSET. 

^^ — ^-%~ - -^ -^^> — s 

^|;||^UT now behold ! 

^^^|o^^ In yonder western sky paints God a scene 

is More beautiful than man has e'er beheld. 
Or nieniories of artist e'er can paint. 
No speech of earth can equal its portrayal. 
Archways of cloud now rise in glorious light, 
Resplendence all athwart the glowing sky. 
Here northward mounts a mighty cumulus 
On mountain range of other rolling clouds, 
As bright as with the heat of incandescence. 



to SAD ALP HA; OR, 

They rise in range, beyond and over range, 
And peaks still yet beyond, until away 
In obscure distance, darkening shades of night, 
There form befitting background to- the scene ; 
While here and there are growing shadows as 
Of valleys fair between the beauteous hills; 
And then again of canons deep that delve 
And split the mountain sides. 

Wild with deep conf ision, 
And terrible with dark abysses that 
Seem now to pierce the wondrous ocean's depths. 
And yet so constantly a change comes o'er 
That each new look brings forth new beauties. 
Ah! ne'er was mountain scene like this! 

There southward lay more tranquil forms. 
A stratus spreads far o'er the water's waste 
And brings to view a second ocean calm. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 51 

With coasts and bays and ^^dde expanse — it seems 
'Twere hung in air. Its ships wax great then change 
As if to mountains, quiet and serene. 
Now rivers form and flow to distant shores, 
Thus cheating fancy, which now sees instead 
One vast and beauteous, changeful landscape fair, 
With here and there small hills of doubtful green. 
Ah! see again! beyond in distance dim 
This phantom ocean spreads itself once more, 
And soon again transforms to landscape bright. 
With town and village interspersed; and broad 
Highway still girt between, on which bright forms 
Now move and pass, and slowly wax in size 
Until great monsters to the sight they seem. 

And now behold the sinking sun 
Half hidden in the deep — the centre piece 
Of all this glorious scene — 'mid gorgeous gates 



52 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

And bright archways of cloud that multiply 
To almost an infinitude of numbers. 

One grand triumphal archway 
Spreads o'er him as he slowly disappears. 
The bright blue sky beyond is only seen 
Through his inviting open palace door. 
While he in grandeur gently sinks from view 
Amid this gorgeous beauty all around 
He sheds new glory on still other scenes, 
On other archways, architraves, and now 
On golden stairs that lead to visions bright 
And most profovind. That lead in fancy bold 
Beyond the darkness of the tomb into 
The glorious mystery of the Home of God. 






A SEQUEL TO THE SUISTSET. 

^LIMB now these staii-ways, 

^ Pass through these doorwavs. 

I 
"Walk through the palaces so beantifullv 

^ bright, 

I View the many mansions, 

So grand in dimensions. 

Fonntainebleau and Windsor eqnal not the sight. 

Only this an emblem. 
Only slight the semblance 
To the grandeur of the real heavenly scene. 

Where God in His glory 
With Christ — 0. blessed story! — 
Now reigns in love and mercv so serene. 



54 SADALPHA; OR, 

Here stands a gate ajar. 

Come, oh, man, from afar 
With holy awe and reverence enter thou in! 

Eemove first thj^ sandal, 

Now again thy mantle, 
For the place where thou standest knows no sin. 

Thy faint heart that trembles 

But slightly resembles 
Those we shall meet with as onward we pass. 

No shadows round us fall, 

Light shines in all, through all. 
Transparent every form as clear crystal glass. 

Yet how distinct they seem! 
Beauty- -yes, the holy theme! 
And mystery of mysteries how this can be. 
Naught T\ath the finite sight. 



A VOYAGE OF LII^E. 55 

Naught though such racliaut hght 
CoTild man distinguish where these forms we see. 

Greater now the mystery, 

Earth bears no history 
Of hke things and Hke scenes that now come on: 

Inside the pearly gate 

Come voices — oh, so sweet! — 
Musical, angelic, in converse and in song. 

A happy throng has gathered, 

And by no sin now tethered, 
They wander and enjoy whatsoe'er they will; 

Their music sweet and perfect, 

Their voices speak seraphic. 
While joy and bhss ecstatic their souls now thrill. 

Here come happj^ faces 
From out celestial places, 



56 SADALPHA; OR, 

More beautiful than ever known to earth. 

The faces, how resplendent! ^ 

Their joy beams out transcendent, 

So happy now since death brought their new birth 

Well-known voices greet us, 

Loving eyes now meet us 
With joy to know, — so glad to see us come. 

Outstretched arms enfold us, 

Long they love to hold us. 
O ! the rapture of our own future home ! 

You've come to stay forever. 

For here no partings sever 
Us who reach this blissful place so bright. 

Our home is so delightful, 

There's nothing here despiteful. 
All is love and purity for God is the light. 



/ 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 57 

So glad you've come, my darling; 

How sad it was our parting, 
When death came to our circle down below! 

But did you know then, dearest. 

Your trial seemed severest, 
That I would come to meet you when you'd go? 



«„-— s4=4C-— ^ 



PAFAMA. 

^|r^ip|«^ID contemplations such as these 
<-)l|(^^^d^ The night drew slowly on, 
^^^^ With not a rppie, not a breeze, 
To roll the waves along. 

Old Panama now nearly gained, 
From which some news to send. 

Of journey prospered, distance gained, 
And how the time to spend, 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 59 

Found utterance in the ink and pens 

Laid by for times of need; 
And now he writes to many friends, 

He Avrites his time to speed. 

He writes again and still the same, 

The first lines seem not meet 
For one whose memory ever came 

As " sister's love" more sweet. 

Blue sky reflected in the deep 

Seems constantly to say, 
Your image I as surely keep 

When you are far away 

As ocean holds to wondering man 

A mirror of the skies, 
Reflecting also God's own plan 

Before astonished eyes. 



6o SADALPHA; OR. 

If constantly the sky be blue 

Then ocean so appears; 
If clouds obscure, the mirror true 

Brings darkness, stormy fears. 

So love from deep within the heart 

Reflects most constantly 
What it may feel to form a part 

Of loved one's purity. 

Yet Panama so near to view 
Still must be many an hour. 

For slow the smoke and steam now flew, 
The engine lost its power. 

So slowly moves the mighty craft 
That something seems amiss, 

A floating, lifeless, aimless raft, 
Anxiety like this. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 6i 

As when a journey nearly done 

Some unforeseen event, 
Some accident has counter run, 

Fruition to prevent. 

But fears are banished when we hear 

That we're ahead of time. 
Insurance money is the spear 

That keeps us back *' on time." 

But in " due time" the landing gained, 

The narrow streets all filth, 
The ancient tiles by time so stained, 

With here and there much wealth; 

The sudden endings of the streets, 

Scarce room to turn aside 
From donkey cart which one meets, 

Or hurrying man beside. 



f)2 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Give variatious to the trip, 

Lend vigor to the feet. 
Marked chanoes these from life on ship. 

Or what at home we meet. 

The hotel gained, refreshments had 

Out onward to depot. 
See soldiers come — so poorly clad! 

But then nor cold nor snow. 

But hurry on, the train soon starts, 
And should you miss it then 

These loathsome, filthy, sickly parts 
Must prove two weeks your den. 

Now safe on board the rickety cars, 

The whistle screams aloud. 
And off we go! My back! what jars! 
What jostlings! what a crowd! 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 65 

The Isthmus now is halhvay crossed^ 

When suddenly a crack, 
A jumping, tearing noise now tossed 

Our tender otf the track. 

The train is stopped, no damage done 

To Hfe or hmb of man; 
But we must wait the setting san 

To bring reUef — what plan? 

A telegram is straightway sent 

To Panama for aid, 
And restless passengers consent,^ 

And broken tender's laid 

Beside the track, and on we go 

A few short miles I ween. 
Where s\\dtch accommodates, you know^ 

And rarest plants are seen. 



64 SADALPHA; OR, 

Again we stop ; a hamlet near 

Of quaint and strange abodes, 
Set high on jDosts, -with thatched roof sear, 

In files along the roads. 

From these the natives now pour out, 

Surprised to see us stop; 
Run here and there, begin to shout: 
" Good cakes!" "coffee" (mere slop)! 

" Sweet oranges" and "chocolate!" 
" Bananas" and "cigars!" 
With "mango apples" — yes, " so sweet!" 
" Pine apples!" 0, my stars! 

What won't they bring! Let's leave the train, 

One hour is far too long 
To ^dew this scene nor see them gain 

Small pittance for their song. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 65 

Then passengers to rest the back 

And time to while away, 
Some folloAv down the curving track. 

Some in deep woods now stray. 

How dense the forest round about ! 

How hot the sweltering air I 
ls[ow nimbus shades; ihen sun beams out. 

With crystal raindrops there 

On brush and fern and palm leaf wide. 

A strange wild scene is this; 
Bright plumaged birds on every side. 

Insects swarm and serpents hiss. 

Above the scream of wild baboon, 

Or bright-winged paraquet, 
Steam whistle sounds, by far too soon, 

This scene not half done j^et. 



66 SADALPHA; OR, 

A fortnight though might prove too long^ 

So all on board again; 
The native's quaint, persuasive song 

Is hushed by moving train. 

Now Aspinwall heaves into sight, 
With bluff, and fort, and trees; 

But slowly now the shades of night 
Close round to obscure these. 

But yonder see our ship! she steams. 

All ready to depart, 
Awaiting us. Far out she seems! 

Perhaps she's made a start! 

But no; here comes a smaller boat 

To take us from the train 
To where the great ships easy float 

That plow this raging main. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 67 

Leaves Aspinwall in shades of night 

Dim outHnes in the mind. 
Its record too, not clear nor bright, 

On history's page we find. 



LEAYIITG THE ISTHMUS. 



iHi 



OW again we leave the shove. 
1^ Eolling, tumbhug on! 
Not so placid as before. 
Nausea comes anon. 

Fading now the distant land, 

Passing from the sight; 
Soon 'tis gone, the thundering strand 

Clothed in darkest night. 

What shall be our future fate 

Plunging in the dark? 
Cross the sea? Too soon? Too lutei' 

Ah, man! whj' thus embark? 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 69 

Fitness is in everything; — 

Emblems, could we see. 
Thus the voyage that we sing 

Has its mystery. 

Birth was in a mountain home, 

Love came with that birth: 
Childhood's feet then fain would roam 

Near parental hearth. 

Youth came; then desire to go 

Roving further round; 
Smooth Pacific seemed to show 

All youth's pleasure found. 

All then tranquil as youth's dream, 

Not a care nor storm; 
No anxiety 'twould seem 

Stirs the youthful form. 



70 SADALPHA; OR, 

Calmly o'er this sea we sailed 

Pleased with every sight. 
Landing gained — strange scenes availed 

Manhood's dawn to light. 

Isthmus crossed — to manhood's prime, 
Brief though it may seem; 

Surel}^ comes a working time, 
Life's not all a dream. 

Enter it with doubt and fear, 

Darkness supervenes, 
Ups and downs through many years' 

Stormy billows — scenes 

Trying oft the soul of man. 

As these billows test 
Through each ship the workman's plan 

If it be the best. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. ii 

All through life wealth, fame, pursued 

Auxious labor brings, 
Work and toil to be renewed 

Hoping better things. 




WEST HS^DTES. 

Soon to be bidden by gray clouds of dawn. 

Tj All seemed so different, so cbanged, not serene 

il 

X Like voyage before the bright Isthmus so green, 

f ■ ^ 

( The billows seem working, the clouds labor so. 

To bring about something; — what is it? do you know? 

Even ocean runs counter with current quite strong. 

Instead of assisting our smot)th course along. 

As did blue Pacific some few days before, 

When all seemed so quiet — e'en far distant shore. 

This surging, this heaving, this motion, this strife; 

This action among elements, thus teeming with life. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 73 

Fair emblem of manhood, its aims and desire s, 

Its striving, its hoping, to wealth it aspires. 

The passengers also more active now seem, 

Their staterooms are not half so pleasant they deem. 

Their room-mates now strange, the captain is sought 

To change them and rearrange all for naught, 

He thinks, but listens to each in his turn : 

Says everyone now by traveling must learn 

That all is not comfort, annoyance must come 

And slight inconvenience for leaving a home. 

Thus sailing on o'er the sea islands appear. 

Fresh and luxuriant, no leaf is now sear. 

Slowly they come to us, come they so nigh 

That trees and green bushes, with springs close by. 

Invite us to come to them, share in their joy, 

Peacefullj'^ wander, no strife to annoy. 

" Come to us — come.'" they sav; " lonely we be; 



74 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Long have we waited far out in the sea, 
Something to offer to man's happiness; 
Something to give him rehef in distress; 
Something, though small we be. Yes, we give all, 
All to that wisdom which raises the pall 
Of man's degradation, his ignorance and sin, 
And bids heavenly sunlight his soul to shine in." 
Slowly we pass them, and then to the sight 
Dimly they vanish in gray, misty light. 
Now comes proud Cuba, with forest of green, 
Kising to Heaven, the dark clouds between. 
Here is unrest, the clouds roll about. 
The breakers run high, rough rocks pointing out 
Obstruct them while striving the ]and to submerge; 
The booming of waves thus sounding a dirge. 
Deep-toned and soul-thrilling; its depths, oh, how 
deep ! 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 75 

It penetrates oceau and mountains so steep ! 

The rain is now falling far off on the land, 

While here brightest sunshine encircles the strand. 

High up in this mountain, which now seems so near, 

In fancy the Mambi's voice signals we hear, 

In tones ringing out to comrades far away, 

Who catch them and listen, — they seem now to say: 

' ' Valmasada ! " " Valmasada ! ' ' What terror that name 

To soldiers, and mothers and infants the same. 

See parasites hanging from every tall tree, 

Vines and thick undergrowth to shore of the sea. 

No dwelling of man now fills the wild scene, 

One mass of solid and beautiful green. 

Man lives here, however, obscured from the world, 

Not only by forests, but war clouds that hurled 

Destruction and death on insurgents that roam 

Through these mighty forests. No comforts of home, 



76 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

No hallowing influence of civilized life, 

Sheds peace and contentment on Mambi Land strife. 

Independence they fight for, nor give o'er the task 

Till liberty gained, in its sunshine to bask. 

Without this they say exterminate foe 

Or die in these woods that shelter us Sf). 

But onward our gallant ship plows the deep main. 

Nor stops at this little world looking to Spain 

For care and protection, from foes without, 

While foes from within now drive them about. 

Slowly the land is now fading from view, 

Yet still will our thoughts the Mambis pursue. 

What shall we do for them? What can be done? 

Who will take up the task? Who, when begun, 

Will not assistance give downtrodden man? 

Though dark his deeds may be, help him who can; 

For redemption from oj^pression and wrong 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 77 

Can be accomplished though the time be long. 

Would man be brought from darkness to light ? 

Must he look upward, there all is bright. 

Up to the source of all wisdom and love : 

Up to the Savior, who came from above 

To give a sample of what life should be, 

To teach love and mercy and sweet charity, 

Wisdom and mercy as boundless in extent 

As stars throughout space in bright firmament. 




A STRANGE PHENOMENOF. 

rlr^-^wrfANY clays have come and gone, 
Many nights been dark, 
^ Still we're sailing, sailing on, 
In our mighty bark. 

Florida is far inland, 

Beaming forth the sun, 
Stratus clouds on every hand, 

Noonday's heat begun. 

Gray and filmy atmosj^here. 

Thick and dense and warm ; 
Overhead the sun in sphere, 

Token of a storm. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 79 

Stillness — deatli was ne'er more still, 

Not a voice is heard, 
Nor ship's engine seems to thrill. 

Ominoiis the bird 

Lights him high on blackened arm. 

One shrill scream he gives; 
Thus portentous of great harm 

To all on board that lives. 

Surely now some scourge awaits. 

Say the sailors old; 
Superstition thus relates 

Many legends bold. 

Hark! again what sounds we hear 

Ringing through the air; 
Bells and chimes ring out quite clear, 

CalHng us to prayer 



So SADALPH.A; OR, 

As iu days of childhood gone. 
Heard we them before. 

Mystery! they still ring on! 
Come they from the shore? 

Is some phantom ship at hand 

Floating o'er the sea, 
With the bells of childhood land 

Chiming harmony? 

Or, the well-known village church 
Floating through the air? 

Far o'erhead the haze we search 
Finding nothing there. 

All delusion in the ear, 

Now 'tis still again! 
Hark the echo far and near 

Einging o'er the main! 



A VO YA GE OF LII^E . '%\ 

Now dead stillness everywhere. 

See yon lonely bird! 
Black as night, sits high in air, 

No voice from him is heard! 

•Could it be— these sounds that float, 

These strange bells that ring, 
Through the air came from his throat 

Mystic song to sing? 

Answer me, ye sailors, then, 

Living on the sea, 
Is this strange phenomenon 

Still deep mystery? 



QUAEAISTTIFE. 



!j!)^i|^N quarantine at last, 
Op^i^ Old ocean's dangers past, 

We are waiting for onr ship's scourge to cease. 



But great is our distress 
For sickness and duress 
Have robbed us now full many days our peace. 

With bird and bells and chimes, 

With heat and tropic climes, 
Came smallpox to our vessel on her way. 

The stricken soon we place 

In life-boats swung in space, 
Nor passengers could see them night or day. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 83 

And now we're so near land 

We see the pebbly strand, 
Yet many days must linger ere our feet 

Can kiss the welcome shore 

As in the days of yore, 
Or we our anxious friends again may meet. 

But here comes a surgeon, 

With vaccine he is urging 
And compelling everyone to submit. 

Like sheep they flee away, 

Nor in his presence stay, 
Yet every arm first bare is quickly hit. 

The task is done he goes. 
Rehef from dreaded woes. 
Of poisoned arms and tainted blood ^^dll come 
With time, which brings release 



84 SADALPHA; OR, 

From all that mars our peace, 
Save death and separation in our home. 

Behold the beauteous shore, 

Far brighter than before, 
For now beyond our reach it calmly lay. 

Basking in the suuUght, 

Forest, lawn and mansions white, 
Forts, towns and cities scattered round the bay. 

Here is life and action, 

All in one direction — 
That of gaining wealth, j)leasure and renown. 

All the world seems centered 

In the port we've entered; 
Busy throngs of vessels hurrying up and down. 

The flags of all nations, 
From way ports and stations, 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 85 

Pass us as we lay in durance so long. 

Commerce coming, going, 

Small boats passing, rowing; 
Grand excursions, lively music and song. 

Off for Staten Island, 

Grove and lawn and highland! 
Merry people now free from toil and care — 

Joyous relaxation! 

Out from every station 
Come the throngs to wander free in open air. 

Multitudes are coming, 

Business ever humming, 
Drives them for a day to ramble o'er the hills; 

Some to seek enjoyment. 

Others base employment; 
Others hear God's voice in music of the rills. 



86 SADALPHA; OR, 

If lauguage is to thought 

What uatm-e is to God, 
And only can express one-half the real, 

Then meadows, lakes and wood, 

When fully understood, 
Disclose much hidden wisdom — His ideal. 

Strive upward to the source, 

Let thought arise perforce 
And pierce the very fountain of true Ught, 

Then joy within is shed, 

Nor conscience now is dead — 
The soul is brought from darkness into light. 



MOTIVES. 

-aHIS world is all beautv 
And action and life, 
Its pleasures, though fleeting 

And coupled with strife, 
Are sweet to engage in 
Dehghtful the while. 
Ah ! who would not taste them 

The time to beguile? 
But through them we're looking 

To something beyond, 
Either soon to accomplish 
Or farther along, 



88 SADALPHA; 0R\. 

To reap then the sowing;. 

Now planting the seeds 
That bring then the harvest 

Of all our good deeds. 
In order in this life 

That reaping may come' 
Many sow, toil and strife, 

Deserting a home. 
Many sow, others reap,. 

Thus gaining for naught 
What they have not planted.. 

Their labor not bought; 
Thus changing enjoyment 

From where it belongs. 
Nor reaping just merit 

Of many base wrongs. 
We see them here reaping 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 89 

The pleasures of wealth. 
In luxury, grandeur, 

Forgetting the stealth 
By which they have gained it. 

Not deeming the while 
That conscience awakened 

Might pleasures defile. 
Behold us surrounding 

A world of mankind, 
Each seeking an object; 

Some daring to find 
By means dark and hellish 

The aids to his end, 
Not sparing the trust 

Of intimate friend. 
Exertion like madness 

The motive that moves 



90 SADALPHA; OR, 

All pleasures and business 

Along in their grooves. 
"With travel retarded 

By wave of the hand, 
That bids us stay back, 

Nor deluge the land 
With scourge or pestilence; 

For science says no! 
Thus far shalt thou come, 

No farther shalt go. 
But every thing earthly 

To end surely comes, 
So quarantine ended 

Makes glad many homes. 



Part 3 



•^^5-%-^— %-»► 



STUDEI^T LIFE. 

rIr^nHH@H! who shall describe the student's gay life, 
^jl^^^^ For here will we find all manner of strife ! 
TrC Strife to be foremost in clinic and "quiz;" 
Strife to be always " way up" in all "biz;" 
Strife to delve deepest in medical lore; 
Strife to be first at dissecting room's door; 
Striving to see all that ever is seen; 
Striving to "go for" the new students green. 
Excelhng each other in daring deeds 
Of darkness not found in any the creeds. 
Hazing in secret v*dth plots that are dark; 
Roving the city by night " on a lark;" 



94 SADALPHA; OR, 

Visiting hospitals day after day ; 

Seeing the form divine nude as it lay 

Dying or dead, as the case might be; 

Mangled and bleeding or longing to flee 

From suffering and sickness that can't be cured 

But which old adage says must be endured. 

Beguiling the soon to be benedict 

From virtue, honor and constancy strict; 

Leading him through many dens on Green street, 

Till various potations make doubtful feet; 

Taking him then to the home of his love. 

Ah! could a Providence ruling above 

Have so arranged it that she should be ' ' out, ' ' 

Nor meet with him thus as he reels about! 

But no! she answers the call of the bell, 

And horror of horrors! dreadful the spell! 

Five students, all strangers, save one dear face, 



A VOYAGE OF UI<E. 95 

And this so changed! See her eyes quickly trace 
His dear manly form — not deeming the while 
That comrades could thus her dear one defile. 
How ended this episode no one of us knows, 
For bidding adieu to them parlor doors close. 
Four jolly students hie off in great glee; 
Next morning a headache rewards their spree. 
Darker deeds come anon, in jest begun, 
Ending in tragedy, darkening the sun 
With crime and balckness. A demon seems bright 
Compared to some intrigues that never see light. 
In jest, apparently, two wills were made, 
One by a student whose property laid 
Far out in the West. securely to stay. 
In land and much stock, as he woiild oft saj'. 
The other owned j)roperty here in New York 
Worth many thousands — architectural work. 



96 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

The will of the student ran thus in brief: 
* ' At death, to my friend, my lands I bequeath 
In view of his kindness, also a will 
Made by him to me, this contract to fill." 

The will of Mr. , on the other hand, 

*' In view of friendship, and will about land, 
Alike here bequeaths to this, my dear chum. 
My estate on Third Avenue,' now my home." 
The student took his degree at Bellevue, 
And then to his noble profession pursue 
An office was rented in his friend's block. 
With drug store beneath, and goods in full stock. 
Soon the good landlord with some strange disease 
Grew sick and then died his tenant to please. 
In Sing Sing the jester languished till death 
Freed him from murder by taking his breath. 
And now, dearest reader, if nerves are quite strong 



A VOYAGE OF LUE. 97 

And equal the task we'll hurry along 

And visit dissecti»ig room. Stop, do you say? 

You can not endure it? Well, turn away! 

Turn over these pages nor read them until 

Some change in the measure the lines shall till. 

If with me you go lay by the dread awe 

Which tilled your deep soul when dear one you saw 

In death's cold embrace, for kindlier thought 

Must now turn aside till science has wrought 

A great preparation, which then will bring 

Kindness and succor, relieving death's sting. 

Despite my warning I see in your face 

Indescribable thoughts, as onward we trace 

Our steps a few blocks to East Elver's side, 

'To grand massive buildings, architects' pride. 

Looming up silently, cold and still, 

-Emblems of secrets their sombre walls fill. 



qS SADALPHA; OR. 

Yonr feelings more burdensome come as we climb 

The wide and bright stairway. Dread j^ou the time 

When door shall be opened? Here, in we go! 

Trembling? Apprehensive? Stop! j-ou say? Oh!- 

This strange smelling odor, what can it be? 

Softly you close then turn to see; 

To follow so quietly, reverentlj" on, 

Through spacious apartment — other things gone. 

Narrow long tables in rows through the hall, 

With here and there charts that deck the white wall.. 

Brilliantly lighted by gas everywhere ; 

Groups of jets burning o'er each table there, 

So nicely adjusted that motion is made 

In each as 'tis needed no part to shade. 

Hundreds are burning, students are working. 

Each quite intentW, seldom seen shirking 

This, unto others, so loathsome a thing 



A VOYAGE OE LIFE. 99 

That tliougbts of it shuddering disgust will bring. 

Far down tlie centre four white walls are seen, 

Forming, as it were, a dark room between. 

But this room contains nor darkness, nor sprite, 

But sheds to the lecture room floods of light. 

Some tables are empty, many are used 

By students in groups; some seem much amused, 

Some chatting, some working, referring to books 

With anxious, inquiring, perplexing looks. 

Portions of bodies on tables around. 

The work near completed much wisdom is found, 

Of muscle, and tendon, and nerve, and brain; 

Of bone and ligament, artery and vein; 

Lymphatic and lacteal, pancreas and gall, 

Oanglion and sinus, both great and small; 

Of stomach and liver, kidney and lung. 

And many strange things that can not be sung. 

Here and there " new subjects," so pale and white, 

With now and then one as black as the night. 



loo SAD ALP HA; OR, 

See far in the northeast corner the place 

Where cables and pulleys and black iron brace 

Suspended from ceiling point out the source 

Of some " material," you know, as of course, 

The "morgue" is below. Ah! who would bequeath 

His body to rise from the place beneath? 

Smother these painful thoughts, if you can, 

That rise in your mind for decaying man, 

We'll turn and retrace our steps to the door, 

Past tables and students, corpses and gore. 

Students all smoking, working and reading, 

Our coming and going scarcely heeding. 

Some in dissecting gowns, others without. 

But long linen dusters their legs about. 

Reversed from the style of Grimes' coat — 

Buttoned on the back, clear up to the throat. 

Here a Professor " demonstrates" a brain. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. lOi 

There garrulous student makes tendon plain; 
Others are joking over " too much fat,'" 
Talking of " hair grease," their •' girls" and all that. 
Condemn not too sternly the student's gaj^ strife 
Delving for principles thus to save life. 
These jolly light spirits will soon become sage, 
Give counsel in sickness to youth and old age ; 
Endanger their lives that of others to save, 
Perhaps be laid low in premature grave; 
Guard human life from pestilence and death, 
Then heed lightly now what frivolity sayeth. 



LETTERS FROM HOME. 



■>% 



4? 



^^LEAK and cold with drifting snow 
Flying through the streets, 
Quick the steps come to and fro 
Hurrying to their seats. 
Students come from near and far, 

Now they hover o'er 
Quaint steam heater, — iron bar 

Coiled above the floor. 
Eagerly they first inquire, 
Letters may have come, 
Loving words their work to inspire^ 
From dear ones at home. 



A VOYAGE OF Llf^E. 103 

Pair winged messengers of love. 

Dainty, white and neat. 
'Small inscriptions thus to prove 

Messages so sweet. 
From " friend" and "lover," "sister" dear.; 

Others also come 
From fat'ier, mother — larger sear — 

Yet good news from home. 
Welcome, aj^e, from Golden State! 

First to find its place 
'Came from " sistsr's" hand to greet 

A homesick, lonely face. 
Feast his eyes on that dear sight! 

Ah! the joy it brings 
Fills his soul with pure delight — 

Hopes of better things! 
How he treasures pleasant thought! 



ro4 SAD ALPHA; 0R\ 

How the bosqm thrills! 
All his labor. goes for naught; 

Bliss the future fills! 
Solitude steals him away: 

Anxiously he reads. 
Hope seems almost led astray! 

Heart with aog-uish bleeds. 
Deemed he now that she would give 

Some slight token sweet 
Of her love; — bid his love live — 

Hope again to meet. 
Friendship only through the lines.. 

Gay and cheerfully, 
Conversed as in olden times, 

Happy, joyously. 
Teaching school in forest wild. 

Redwood trees among; 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 105 

Happy now as any child 

In parental home. 
Soon vacation days would come 

Then to Clear Lake fair 
She would gladly gaily roam 

Through the pine wood air. 
Then perchance familiar spot^ 

Seeing once again, 
She would not let be forgot 
" Brother's" scourge and pain. 
Answered Sabbath afternoon; 

Household all were gone; 
Stillness reigned in every room, 

Heart felt sad and lone. 
No sound was heard save steady stroke- 
Ticking loud and clear; 
The clock alone the silence broke. 



<o^) SAD ALPHA; OR. 

Musing to make clear. 
By sweet associations past, 

Of home and hallowed scene, 
Of acts and looks too sweet to last, 

Of love and joy serene. 
Far away from home and friends 

Her kind letters bring 
Rays of hope — ample amends 

For separation's sting. 
Thus he wrote- " My sister dear, 

None may truly know 
Of the joy your letter gave 

To me some days ago. 
First it was of all the throng 

Sent from Golden Stats, 
Joyously it rushed along 

Anxious eyes to sate. 



A VOYAGE OF LIbE. 107 

Gladly I your well-known hand 

Recognized before 
I had oped — to read began 

As in days of yore. 
Pleasant voyage I have had, 

Strange grand scenes have viewed, 
Now through work my spirits glad 

With bright hopes renewed, 
Of eminence and much renown, 

Honor, fame and wealth. 
Opportunities to crown 

Sickness and ill health 
With vigor, strength and health restored. 

Happiness and joy 
Bring from suffering much deplored 

Peace without alloy." 
Thus the correspondence ran, 



io8 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Happy, joyously, 
Scarce alluding to a plan, 

Not e'en cautiously, 
Of what their future life might prove ; 

Yet quite steadily 
Grew a "sister's" "brother's" love, 

Sweetly, tenderly. 
Fonder, dearer thoughts came now, 

Pure and holy love 
Filled each soul though spoken vow 

Heard not God above. 
How it charmed his soul to read 

Each thrice welcome line ! 
Every message brought the need 

Of others in due time. 
Soon this happy intercourse 

Of thought and soul a part 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 109 

Pierced a fouutaiu at its source 

That flowed from hsart to heart. 
Ah, ever flow, holy stream, 

Bring peace and joy and bliss, 
Fill up the soul beauteous dream 

Nor fruition miss! 
Love that springs from God of Light, 

Pure, undying love. 
Let no darkening shades of night 

O'er thy current move. 
From thy source no shade will come, 

Naught can check thy flow- 
Nothing but hell's fiends that roam 

Darkens thee below. 
When we reach thy source, Oh, love! 

In that home of Hght— 
Beauteous stream, the throne above, 



SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Flowing ever bright — 
We will know thy ecstasy, 

All thy bliss so sweet, 
All thy perfect constancy. 

Loved ones there we'll meet. 



< ».'V2/2^-o-^».:^a/2/T<-»— * 



ACEOSS THE COI^TINENT. 

. J^arEADUATION near at hand; 
^^^^5^ Ah, bright, honored day! 
^X Proudest day among life's sand — 
^ Ne'er to fade away! 

Now there came a promise sweet, 

Spoken timidly. 
Ah! the joy when they should meet! 

Hope rose buoyantly. 
Now he knew that far away 
One fond heart with joy 
Waited the eventful day 
Soon its love to cloy. 



SADALPUA; OR, 

Honor from the college given, 

Though so sweet to bear, 
Sank before the sunhght driven 

From a scene more fair. 
Day when love's work should be crowned, 

Happy hearts should meet; 
Ever after love abound, 

Pure, serene and sweet. 
Now farewell to college halls, 

Take its honors due. 
For the world for workers calls, 

Workers tried and true. 
Go ye forth in various ways, 

Where the world has need, 
Oo, and by your actions praise 

Them that sowed good seed. 
Go and work for fellow man. 



A VO YA GE OF LII^E . 113 

Por 5'ourself the while; 
Krtise him up where e'er you can, 

Nor yourself defile. 
Now prepared for faithful work 

Bj^ the training had, 
■Go, nor ever duty shirk 

Though through misery led. 
Duty done to man and self 

Leisure comes with ease, 
Many volumes from the shelf 

Serve the mind to please. 
Ever deem it wise to delve 

Still for hidden truth, 
Ever elevating self 

Like ambitious youth. 
Then shall come success in life, 

Home and friends and fame, 



•r4 SADALPHA; OR, 

Happiness, tliongli tears and strife- 
Mingle with the same. 
Tears will purif}^ the heart, 

Strife will make yoii bold, 
Well in life to act your part, 

Not, indifferent, cold. 
Come, then, contest with the world !- 

Come what will or may 
With your banner, truth, unfurled 

You will gain the day. 
Truth, Ah! holy bright ensign! 

Wave thou ever o'er 
Every motive of manldnd, 

Every eye before. 
Hurriedly some volumes bought,. 

Instruments also, 
Then a ticket office sought, 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. nS 

Now prepared to go. 
Cioss the Continent by rail. 

Less than seven days 
Ere a loved one he should hail. 

How the fancy plays! 
Up the Hudson Eiver fair. 

Ah! how grand the sight! 
Soft delightful evening air, 

Shading into night. 
Sing Sing first, then Albany, — 

Rochester is here, 
Crossing now Niagara, 

Swing'ng in the air. 
On he spet ds. nor stops to view 

This most wondrous scene, 
Brighter thoughts and ever new 

Fill the mind serene. 



ii5 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Now Detroit with floating road 

Bursts to view anon; 
Wondrous ferry — sueli a load — 

It bears the train along ! 
Rain in torrents has submerged 

All the country round; 
Swollen streams with terror urged 

Fence and drift along. 
Cautiously' we slowly move, 

Fearing accident; 
Flooded bridges lest should prove 

Our great detriment. 
Finally we cross the track 

Of wind storm and rain; 
Swiftly now with " clickity clack" 

On we sj)eed again. 
Reached Chicago, time behind, 



A VO YAGE OF LIFE. 117- 

Just one hour too late; 
Two through trains a day on time 

To Nebraska State. 
Over prairies vast and green; 

Passing forest now; 
Skirting clear meandering stream, 

Under green hill's brow. 
Towns and cities come and go; 

Cornfields like the sea, 
"Waving in the winds that blow, 

Pass us rapidly. 
Houses scattered here and there 

On the farms display 
Scenes of home life everywhere. 

Here a school at play ! 
Seems the teacher anxiously 

Waiting here this train ? 



ii8 SAD ALPHA; Ok, 

Possibly! — Quite certainly 

One beyond the plain 
Waits, afar in mountain bom 3, 

Soon with joy to greet 
One no more from her to roam. 

Come, Oh, day so sweet! 
Council Bluffs and Omaha 

Come and disappear. 
Wilder scenes with strange dread awe 

Fi'l the mind with fear. 
Antelope and buffalo 

Try with us their speed, 
Wolves and Indians come and go. 

Scarce our presence heed. 
Railroad track and telegraph 

All we have left here, 
Marks of civilizations path 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. ^^9 

O'er the plains so drear. 
Now the Rocky Mountains climb, 

Higher yet ascend; 
Slower now, and yet on time 

Will our journey end. 
No! " down breaks" the whistle screams! 

Ah! how short we stop! 
Too much rain and swollen streams, 
• A laud sUde from the top 
Of yon high mountain covered o'er 

And destroyed our track; 
Eight long hours suspense we bore 

Torture of the rack! 
Orand the scenery round about. 

Yet no eyes had we 
To enjoy; though cliffs jut out 
Hi^h and threateningly. 



SADALPHA; OR^ 

On we move when road repaired,. 

Canons tunnels through, 
Scarce for meals or sleep we cared ^ 

Everything so new. 
On, and on, and an, we speed! 

Salt Lake hurries by. 
On we go! but now give heed — 

It comes so soon— 'tis nigh! 
Now we stop ! — white tents all round 

Through the sage brush green. 
Here a few days since was found 

A bright, triumphant scene; 
East shook hands with youthful West,. 

Gladly both displayed 
Much good will;— with " spike" the best 

Here was " last tie" laid, 
Binding us with iron bands 



A VOYAGE OF UI'E. 121 

Stronger than the thread 
That swings in air o'er our lands 

Bearing thought o'erhead. 
On again, and ever on, 

Sleep)" now and tired; 
Eest awhile and wake anon — 

Snow-sheds have been fired; 
Burning brightly through the pines. 

Tunnels dark again; 
Then beyond the wood's confines 

To Sacramento's plain. 
Now the city heayes in sight. 

Welcome place so gay ; 
Holiday begins to-night- 
Independence day. 
Happy faces fill the streets, 

Joy fills many hearts; 



122 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Each the other gladly greets. 

Soon a horse race starts; 
Some to-day to try their speed 

Came into the town, 
Since the Sabbath brought the need 

Two days' sport to crown. 
Some now celebrate the third, 

Others will the fifth, 
Thus to reverence the word 

Given in Holy Writ. 



t--*^'Vi/Z^'o-*^.^Z/tn^-r~» 



Part 4. 



r-*-'Vj/2^.0^0.:^2/M*-6-~» 



HOME. 



.^|w|^KIGHTLY the sun shone in fair mountain 
^^^M town; 



^')j\ Joyously came he his love's work to crown; 

'T Gladly she welcomed him home from afar. 

I Oh! holy dawn of hope, bright morning star! 
Shine ever clearly while guiding their bark 
Over hfe"s rough sea, through the storms that are dark ! 
0! come now, sweet muses, inspire thou my song! 
Fill every measure as time floats along! 
Friends have now gathered to witness a scene 
Which God has ordained sublime and serene; 
Has given His sanction in words from above, 
Ever uniting such hearts as may love. 



126 SADALPHA; OR, 

Homestead is brightened, relations all here; 
Dear friends have gathered from far and from near. 
Bridesmaids selected from old friends and true 
Fondly prepare her for scene ever new. 
Gladly the time passes by on fair wings; 
Sweetly they converse as each moment brings 
Some added beauty to toilet and room, 
Flower and ornament and sweetest perfume. 
Sweeter than perfume each heart full of love 
Sends a glad stream forth its source from above; 
A stream whose clear ripple, so pure and so bright, 
Uniting, o'erwhelms these two hearts with delight. 
Fondly yet sadly the mother is seen 
Coming and going bright faces between. 
Ah! who can know of a fond mother's thought, 
Seeing her child from the cradle thus brought 
Through many long years of toil and of care 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 127 

To hallow such scene so bright and so fair? 
Far more who can know the feelings that swell 
The soul of the child in this anxious spell? 
Sad joj' brings the thought that to-daj' she must leave 
The home of her childhood, others receive 
As friends and acquaintances; thus new life 
Is brought to her now with that strange word wife, 
" "What shall my future be?" says she the while. 
Musingly, silently — ever a emile 
Hiding the turbulent depths of the soul, 
Where gladness and joy with regrets now rolL 
Great is the sacrifice which she has brought; 
Home and dear schoolmates all go for naught- 
Brothers and sisters' society gone — 
All she surrenders for love's dearest boon. 
Trusting in love she now ventures to stray 
Over life's sea to sail gladly away. 



128 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Longer or shorter the voyage may be — 
Terminate safely or disastrously. 
Love be thy compass, oh, pilot, to guide 
Safely past deep hidden rocks that betide 
These voyagers dangers or suffering sore; 
Land them, oh, pilot, on the evergreen shore! 
Their voyage shall end not till death comes on 
Bringing the passengers into their home, 
Off from life's ocean whose waves ever roll 
Baariug to eternity each living soul. 
What shall eternity be when they land? 
Bright home of beauty with welcoming strand? 
Or shall it be darkness encircling the shore 
With torture and torment for evermore? 
Cheerfully, gaily the hour arrives 
For blending in one these two loving lives. 
Pastor and friends and relatives here, 



A VOYAGE OF LlfE. 1^9 

Soon in the distance three others aj)pear; 
One seems qnite pensive, yet joy fills his heart 
Knowing from loved one no more he shall part. 
His soul fills with bliss as he thus draws near. 
Never can man know these feelings so dear 
Until they have moved his soul with delight. 
They come like the rainbow of promise bright, 
Shedding new glory on future and past. 
Ah! may not this glory forever still last? 
Olad is their meeting no more to severe 
•Haj^py in love's fond presence forever. 
Slowly the words came from depths of the heart, 
" What God has united let man never part." 
'Gladly and happily hie they away 
From childhood's roof, nor ever heard say 
Regret at the going, for life seemed so new 
Since iove and happiness filled each day through-. 



rjo SADALHJA; OR-, 

3o\hW\y, cheerfully life is begun; 

Hopefully, brilliantly rises the sun 

Of promise and love to brighten their clay^ 

Shed joy and happiness over their way. 

Love rules supreme every act and each word, 

With passions controlled no discord is heard. 

Soon the new home seems dearer than the old,. 

For every day bi'ings a new joy untold. 

Working and toil bring sweet rest and repose, 

Hallowed the scene when each day's labors close. 

Influence of lotus comes on till the morn 

Brings again labor their lives to adorn. 

As oft through the d ly their loving eyes meet 

Work is now rendered b}- each look more sweet. 



HAPPINESS. 

rti "Vj^^ happiness, perchance, mny be desire 



"^ji^A^ And its fulfiUment, then what joy bursts forth 
4;\-% To view again those scenes made dear by love, 
"Where hope and fancy bright in former years 
Made ghxd the heart to think of what might be. 
Ah! now rejoice with love's fond dream matured 
And all that fancy painted realized! 
What else could add to earthly bliss? "What else 
But ever new desire for something more 
To share with those we love, and in its glad 
Fruition see new joy in loved one's face? 
"With every added joy that comes and goes 
With happy memory of its pleasing flight 



132 SAD ALPHA; Ok., 

There comes anon capacity for more; 
Be thej' the joys and sweets of home, or be 
They other forms of so-called happiness. 
Then hearken now, give ear receptive mind. 
And of the joys that come drink deep and long 
From such as seemeth pure, and just, and true. 
And lovely, honest and of good report. 
New home, how sweet thy quiet pleasures are 
When first with loved and loving hearts we come 
To taste thy joys so new and strangely sweet! 
When loving hands, in sweet accord with all 
Our happy thoughts and voices, deftly place 
Each ornament and picture on the wall; 
Glad with approval and the sweet response 
Of love from out the only soul we love. 
Oh! new made, dearest, sweetest, lovely home, 
Where two hearts join in all they say and do 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 133 

To render all thy scenes more beautiful 

And add new joys to each succeeding day! 

Come dajs, and weeks, and months, and years, and all 

Thy joys thus multiply. But cares of those 

In deep distress and sickness came, and yet 

With their relief from darker woes of death 

Came ever to the hearts in this new home 

Glad thoughts of duty done. 

Thus many years of love and pleasure ran, 

Each in a sphere where duty called most loud, 

Where act of love and kindness could be done, 

Or skill to save from death coiild be bestowed. 

She glad to benefit mankind, or raise 

The darkness from a faltering, sinning soul 

And point it to an everlasting home. 

While he to save the mortal part from death 

Gave time find toil and sleepless, stormy' nights. 



134 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

She watches anxiously with wakeful eyes 
Within the lonely cottage wiudow there. 
Aroused at everj^ noise to see him come 
From out the dismal, dark and rainy night 
Where he had gone to succor dying man. 
No sleep she knows till coming break of day 
Has brought return of him she loved and watched. 
Such separations and such dread susi:)ense, 
Though short in time to others they may seem, 
Yet seem thej' now to her as endless pangs 
That pierce the soul with strange anxiety. 
With depth of love comes corresponding woe 
At separation from the soul we love. 



SADNESS. 

^^.^jy HEEE came a day 

^^ig-A^ "When deeper nuguisli rolled across her soul-. 
a)"C When all alone in midst of books she loved, 

el 

^^ With husband on his errands of relief, 
I A crimson, vital and yet deathly fount 
Leaped forth from out that throbbing, loving breasts 
Too well she knew its import. And though small 
The stream that seemed so bright, she realized 
That what she oft had dreaded now must come. 
The husband soon returned; his well-known step 
She heard, but dare not move his face to greet 



136 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

At welcome door, as was her gladsome wont, 
For fear her life-blood forth again should spring,. 
The fond embrace — then tears, ah, bitter tears I 
Filled loving eyes, while thus she gently spoke: 
'* My darling, I must leave you soon — for see — 
See this — consumption's never failing mark 
Has come to tell us we must surely part. 
How soon we know not, yet you know 'twill come 
That I must go and be with you no more. 
Oh, darling! can I go and leave you thus 
Alone in life?" 

With words he knew were false he thus replied:: 
" My dear, think not too sadly of our lot. 
This hemorrhage is small and doubtless will 
ReUeve the slight congestion of the lung 
Produced by taking cold some weeks ago." 
But deep within his anguished soul he knew 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. \yr 

Far better than his words which scarce deceived. 
Some months were passed and with them came reluriSi 
Of that dread sj'mptom, many others too 
That told too plainly of disease within- 
Then May time came with plans for mountain trip 
To early scenes 'mid lakes and well-known woods- 
Where love was born. Thus seeking to restore 
The waste begun, and if perchance to check 
The onward march of that which yet to skill 
Bids stern defiance^ 

Amid these old familiar mountain scenes 
She moves again with troubled, sorrowing souL 
Some dear, famihar faces she now meets. 
But many gone leave aching voids within 
For friends of early days. 

How sad she feels to see 
At door of death the honored, manly brow 



T38 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Of one she knew in former j^ears — her pride 
As piii3il — bright-eyed boy. But sadder still 
To know the self same hand, that dread disease 
Of which he dies, is even now at work 
In her jjale form, and soon — too soon — must she 
In like condition pass from earth away. 

The pure and fragrant mountain air 
Brought scarce a change. And with the Autumn came 
Keturn to home and husband dear. With sad 
Farewells — ah, last farewells— to friends of youth 
And relatives so dear, she turns her face 
Towards one bright spot of all the earth to her 
Most dear; — that new made home where love 
And tenderness abides; where anxious heart 
To her so dear awaits to welcome her. 
She's coming home to die! 0, God of love, 
And power, and might, is there indeed no help? 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 139 

O, God! my God, canst Thou uot save 

All them who to Thee cry? 
Hear me, my Father, as I crave 

Su cor from Thee on high. 
To check what man with all his skill, 

And all he knows of Thee, 
Can not arrest or change at will 

From wasting tendency. 

My God, I've soughl Thee in Thy laws, 
Through Nature traced Thy power, 

The defects of my race its flaws, 
My watchword many an hour. 

Yet still I come, when all else fails, 

To Thee my source of hght. 
And ask and pray with many wails 

That morn shall not be night 



140 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Canst Thou not hear my feeble crj^? 

0, God, I scream to Thee 
For help ! Oh, help me or I die ! 

Oh, save my own to me! 

She has sought health in other climes, 
Now, guided by Thy laws, 

She's coming home — I hear sad chimes. 
Oh, save from death's dark jaws! 

Thou canst arrest this slow decay, 
Thy word and laws proclaim. 

Wilt Thou not in her case display 
Some token of thy aim? 

Oh, show by this Thy power supreme 
O'er man, though science guide! 

Show love to triumph, love sweet theme 
Through Christ, the crucified. 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 141 

" How glad I am to be at home again! 
What pleasant and refreshing rest I'll have! 
So tired I've been these many weary months, 
And longed so much to be with you once more, 
I'll never leave you, darling one, again. 
Until I go where you must one day come. 
I'll stay with you a few short weeks or months 
And then I'll go away again; no more 
To be with you in this our pleasant home. 
Do not weep, for if it be God's will 
Then must it be for our own good." 

What tortare to the living, loving soul 
Can equal that which comes to those who see 
A loved one — ah, one's better self — for days, 
And weeks, and mouths, to suffer and draw near 
The verge of that mysterious, bournless land 
Beyond the tomb? When as each day brings forth 



142 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Its busy cares and duties to be done, 
Tie mind is almost lost in earnest toil. 
And so engaged in its absorbing work 
That future cares scarce penetrate the thouglits; 
Theu as tlie homeward footstej^s gladly traced, 
How like an avalanche breaks o'er the mind 
The thought that death is lingering in our home! 
Nor will his waiting e'er give o'er until 
He takes a dearl}^ loved one from our sight. 
Ah! thou dread terror of the human mind, 
Unwelcome monster, wdlt thou e'er remain? 
Oh! that I could but summon heaven and hell, 
And all the mighty po vers that in them be, 
And all of earth and men that show forth might, 
How far would I not banish thee from sight, 
And thus restore my home to what it was 
Before thoucamest, with sneakinj, stealthy tread 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 143 

To mock my skill and scorn my aid of men! 
He further, mocking, says: " Be not enraged, 
Thou canst not drive me hence. I came for her 
And she must surely go. I care not aught for thee 
With all thy sT^ill; nor all of man combined; 
His boasted science; or the aid of thy 
Most skillful brethren of the healing art. 
Yes, bring them on, use every means now known. 
And 3"et thou soon shalt see I'll gain the day, 
And bear her hence into my doorless house." 
Ah ! thou grim monster, wilt thou ever mock 
And thus deride my grief? Thou shalt be gone; 
She loves not thee but me. She fain would stay. 
And she must stay. Begone, thou fiendish king 
Of terrors, from mj'- former happy home! 
Then through the skill of various minds, and by 
The power of love, and strong desire to live. 



144 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

The pale, fair form would seem new strength to gain 

And thus new hopes arouse within the breast 

That possibly the monster now had flown. 

Then home was joyous once again, for now 

Bright hope lent buoyancy to every act 

And o'er each scene of home shed rays of gladness, 

Could this continue what a joy 'twould bring! 

Ah! sweet it is indeed to conquer foe, 

But sweeter far when mighty is that foe 

And ever seeks our homes to desecrate! 

But then that daily, hollow, wearing cough 

Told but too plainly of the secret foe 

That lurked and e'en abode within the room., 

And only hid himself away from sight 

Whan love and hope would fain not see his form. 

Ah! come thou forth from out thy hiding place. 

Destroyer of my earthly happiness. 



A VOYAGE OE LIFE. 145 

And meet me face to face, that I may hurl 

T?hee hence so far that thon canst ne'er return.' 

All vain attempts to dispossess him of 

His loveh% fading prize — he only scoffs, 

And still remains. 

At length when days, and weeks, and months have 

passed 
His form familiar grows. He hovers round 
The sleeping couch, and totters by the side 
Of his pale victim, as she comes and goes 
"With feeble step from room to room. 

"When oft returned 
From busy toil and care, the husband sees 
The wasting form, to shun death's presence dire. 
Has left the dreaded sick room bed, and now 
deposes where new Hfe perchance may come 
In gentle sleep; nor now disturbed by hina 



I4fj SAD ALULA: OK\ 

Whose quiet footstep hurries to her side; 

He ever finds the reaj^er hovering o'er; 

His fingers phiying with her shining hair, 

And fondly pressing the nnconscions cheeks 

That ne'er return to wonted fullness more. 

While every impress of unwelconae touch 

Marks that fair face death's own. Unconscious still 

She sleeps. The bony reaper with a hand 

Uplift, as if to warn him cautiously 

Away, says: " Stop! do not come near; disturb 

Not this her sweet rejDOse, nor me in this 

My tender care for her. I love to be 

Thus near to her, and to behold these cheeks 

And rosy lips which you so oft have kissed 

Grow pale and lean. I love to think the while 

That soon— j^es, very soon- -she'll go away 

With me and never more return to you. 



A VO YAGE OF LIEE. 147 

This face, though pale, wdll look so sweet within 
Its beauteous casket all bestrewn with flowers; 
These hands so white then folded o'er this breast 
Then cold will never more grasp yours in love; 
This mind now in such sweet and calm repose 
Will then respond to none of your sad grief; 
These eyes then closed as now will never more 
Beam forth the joyous love that fills her soul. 
Ah! contemplate with tears my lovely prize! 
For see e'en now how much like me she looks, 
Save this too rapid breathing, heaving breast. 
But see! she startles; I will disappear 
Lest she should see me watching o'er her now. 
Kemember this in all your converse sweet 
With her, that she is mine, no longer thine." 
"Ah! darling, is it you? I've been asleep. 
Such peaceful and refreshing sleep ! Perhaps 



148 SAD ALPHA; Ok., 

It was not sleep — I liardly know — for see, 

I'm rested now and feel quite strong again. 

If this were sleep then could I always be 

In such condition. Shall I say I dreamed, 

Or was it something more? Ah! surely more; 

For such a rest I ne'er before have known. 

The Savior took me in His loving arms 

And bore me as a child throughout His Home. 

At first I thought the arms were yours, and then 

Such beauty ever filled my wondering eyes 

That well I knew and felt no earthly scene 

Could thus my soul with bliss and rapture fill. 

There in His Father's House a mansion fair 

And beautiful I saw prepared for us. 

Its holy grandeur tongue can ne'er express, 

Nor its perfection for our happiness. 

Oh! darUng, this our earthly, happy home, 



A VOYAGEOF LII'E. 149 

Though dear and pleasant as a home can be, 

Seems nothing ^vhen compared to what I saw. 

I now can go content to leave yow. here, 

For well I know that you will one day come 

To this our second new made, glorious Home, 

And be again with me forever there." 

The weeks rolled on and brought the merry May; 

But sadness teemed in every leaf and flower 

To him who realized that now had come 

The time when all these bright and fragrant flowers 

No more could charm the M'asting form, save as 

They came from loving hands and tender hearts 

Of friends to decorate the sick one's room. 

Ah, loving hands! what joy these flowers bring 

To soften sadness with their fragrance sweet ! 

They speak of w^eepiug hearts that fain would bring 

Relief from suffering, and restore to life 



150 SAD ALPHA; Ok. 

The object of their kind sohcitude. 

How sad to know that as these fragrant flowers 

Are offered, each with sj^mpathy and love, 

From hearts that feel what they can not express, 

The soul that lingers for a few short days 

Responds with love as deep and pure, and sweet. 

As that of angels; for she now seems one, 

Waiting only for the time to come 

When life's rough sea, now calm as after storm. 

Shall bear her gently to the heavenly shore, 

Which she now sees and anxiously awaits. 

Oh ! happ3^ landing after voyage done. 

That has been oft beset with danger and 

With torturing doubts! Yes, joyous it may be 

To worn and weary voyagers. But Oh, 

The bitter anguish of the loving hearts 

That see them go! It seems as if pale death 



A VO YA GE OF LIFE. 1 5 1 

Were ever passing through earth's garden, full 
Of living and immortal, precious souls, 
And gathering of the brightest, fairest flowers, 
And ever making fragrant, lovely wreaths, 
And bright bouquets, with which to decorate 
The heavenly throne. 

0, restless, suffering, anxious, torturing hours, 
Before the spirit bids a last farewell 
To earth, and friends, and home, and loved ones dear! 
What language can the depth of anguish tell 
That fills each soul, as round the dying couch 
They gather from afar to bid a last 
Farewell? 0, weeping hearts, will ye not burst, 
So full of tearless, suppressed grief ye seem? 
Could tears but flow perchance t'would give relief- 
But no, they must not come as yet. 
The night grew slowly on. 



TS2 SADALM/A; 0R\ 

And with it came that last, sad awful scene.. 

The restless, sleepless yet angelic ej'-es-. 

Grave token of approaching death; of that 

Last sleep which never more a waking knows. 

All present felt it coming o'er her now. 

And she, whose wakeful eyes for days no sleep 

Had known, felt too that now sweet sleep would come^ 

She knew — ah, yes, too well she sadly knew — 

That she must now a long and sad farewell 

To friends and sister, brother, husband give. 

O, can it be that she must go away? 

Will not my God give rescue from the scene? 

Will not my brethren of the healing art 

Save her a few day» more to be with me? 

" My darling, do you think I'm dying now,. 

Or is it only sleep that makes me feel 

More comfort now than I for days have felt?' 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 153 

No pains, no restlessness, nor dread I feel. 

I must be dying, surely — am I not? 

Dear sister, do not cry. Bring baby here; 

His anntie loves him so. He little kncTN's 

How sad I am to leave him thus before 

His memory can in after years retain 

Fond thoughts of me. How happy yen will be 

"With him when he is grown. "Will you not then 

Kecall how much I love him now? And how 

I hope and pray, with this my dying breath, 

That he may be a great and useful man 

And learn to know how much I loved him? 

My only sister, well I know^ — too well — 

How lonely you will be when I am gone, 

For Ma has left us all alone I But then 

You know she was so good and kind to us 

That we mil one day find her where she's gone — 



154 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

And I will very, very soon be there. 

My brother, I shall soon be gone from you; 

Oh, will not you so live that you may come 

Where Ma and I will wait for you? 

My darling husband, you will come I know. 

If you will only true and faithful be. 

You love me, do you not? My love for you 

Has been so great that I could never give 

You up to go away and leave you here 

Alone. I often hoped that we might go 

Together to the other happy home 

Which Jesus has so well prepared for us. 

What will you do, my darling, when I'm gone? 

These rooms will be so sad and lonely then. 

Will you stay here or will you go away? 

Kiss me good-by, for I am dying now. 

Do not cry so! — It is not hard to die." 



A VOYAGE OF LIFE. 155 

Theu came that perfect rest. It was not sleep 

But deatli, which once before had been so near. 

The Hps moved gently as in trusting tone 

Of whispered words she spoke to One, whose voice 

None heard save she who rested in His arms, 

And as His words fell gently on her ear 

She seemed to listen so attentively 

That husband hovering o'er her dying face 

Heard her in earnest whispers to converse. 

Make this request of Him with whom she spoke : 

"You will take care of husband, will you not?" 

Theu waiting briefly as if for reply 

With anxious look until she heard it come; 

Then pleased as though a doubt had been removed, 

As if a promise had to her been given. 

She spoke aloud to those who wept around, 

In tone betokening confidence and love, 



156 SAD ALPHA; OR, 

Assuring him from ^vhom she now must part 
That " Jesus will take care of you." 
Then all was still; the gentle spirit borne 
Away within the arms of tenderness 
And boundless love, left sobbing, bleeding hearts 
To drink at deep affliction's bitter fount, 
Its waters ever adding to the thirst, 
Until they drink, and weep, and drink again. 
Now overcome with weeping fall to sleep. 
Then wake to weep again, and still again 
To moan through shades of sorrow's darkest night; 
To dream and then aM^ake to know the worst, 
And wonder if it can be truly so 
That all indeed of life and hope is gone. 
Now darkest blackness falls around o'er earth; 
And morn seems night, though brightly now the sun 
Beams forth, as if to make the darkness of 



A VOYAGE 01^ LIFE. 157 

These weeping souls yet still the more intense. 
Above these bitter waters stands the throne 
Of mercy, ever beaming brightest rays 
For every weeping, bleeding, stricken heart. 
And though such hearts but seldom see its gleam, 
Yet now a little ray, with kindly light, 
Beams through the darkness to one stricken soul 
And bids it hops. And now he truly sees 
That fair and lovely face, so cold in death, 
Is not the recent sufferer of her ills 
But his fair bride, as fresh and beautiful 
As when they first were wed. 

He further knows 
That in her Father's House a mansion fair 
Is now her happy home. That there with love 
Which never dies she waits and watches still 
His coming, as in days forever gone. 



■MMiMMNHMMIIiiMMWMMHM^^ 




